The Sound of Silence and the Fury

Drawing the line between fact and opinion.

The Quirks of Jail Sentences or “One Day… One Sodding Day?!”

Posted by Justin Johnson on Sunday, September 2nd, 2007

Mike Nifong, the former district attorney who handled that whole Duke lacross rape case, has been found in criminal contempt of court and sentenced to one day in jail. – “Nifong held in criminal contempt by judge, sentenced to day in jail”

Lindsay Lohan, was found guilty of misdemeanor drunken driving and cocaine charges. Through her plea agreement, she was, among other things, sentenced to one day in jail. –, “Lindsay Lohan to serve 1 day in jail in plea bargain”

And then there’s this interesting tidbit from, give Michael Vick a one year jail term, he serves one year. Give him a year and a day, he serves ~10 months. –, “Could Michael Vick Play Next Season?” by Harlan J. Protass, 24 August 2007

Mkay, there’s two problems here:

A. People are getting one day jail sentences.
B. Federal prisoners can get 2 months off a sentence for being in jail 24 extra hours.

Let’s start with A. What is the virtue of a one day jail sentence? So you spend all day in a county/local jail cell. GASP! Hardly, to quote Office Space, “Federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison”. You look on the internet, you’ll see varying costs of what it costs to house an inmate for one day, usually between $30 – $100.

Now, I ask again, what is the virtue of a one day jail sentence? I’ll admit, I like nothing better than a good photo op with the main entrance of a jail behind. But, then again, I’m a crappy photographer.

Surely placing people in jail for a day is pointless, unless they are drunk or mentally ill. Akin it to being sent to your room as a child. What did you do? You cried and then you slept your “punishment” away. These people going to jail for a day will probably look better coming out after going in, a good nap never hurt anybody.

What a waste of money.

And now on to B. Who came up with the doof idea that prisoners confined up to one year should serve their time any differently than those who aren’t? Not to even mention it’s a backwards system.

People who are sentenced to shorter sentences have obviously been less contemptable in their crimes, and if anything, DESERVE the same good behavior time credit as your rapist and drug smuggler.

But, regardless of that, a criminal is a criminal and time served SHOULD be time served, but it’s not, it’s some complex algorithm made for maximum debt reduction.

Final Words:
Jail sentences are a farce. You’ll RARELY serve the amount of time you’re sentenced to. Why? “Blah, blah… prisons are supposed to rehabilitate not punish… blah, blah… it costs too much… blah, blah.”

Damn it, these people have done wrong! Stop CODDLING them! They aren’t snuggly teddy bears. They need PUNISHMENT. They need to be discouraged from doing evil. They need to think they’ll be SMITED if they ever commit a crime again.

Hell, they need to be brainwashed. If you can make people join a cult, you should be able to make them not commit crimes!


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